Always heart to heart

You Force a meeting  with all aspects of me
I fight to protect you from parts of it that can be scary
It is terrifying to hold you so dear 
All the hope of your future resting on me.

Me?
Me, so inadequately equipped 
Still learning while teaching
With my fears, flaws and mistakes
What if you meet my darkness 
The parts of me I keep tacked away 
The ones I struggle to accept
Which, if I dare say
You senses the existence of.

3 years, you have spent observing me
Days upon days of mastering my body language
Things unsaid show up in a scowl
A too tight grab
A deep sigh of frustration
None of them lost on you.

I'm learning to merge my light and darkness
Questioning why I want aspects of me hidden
Ascertaining the need to own this flaws
Some fears are not easily banished
Our helpless mortality being atop
The knowledge that I might one day never see your face
That I might not be able to tell you how much I love you.

The only sure thing is this moment
The present, our greatest gift
In it, I will always give you the best of me
When you by chance glimpse my darkness
It will never be voluntarily
I pray you remember it's part of being alive and human
As long as there is light in our hearts
We will see the best of each other 
In the darkest moments 
we will choose forgiveness and compassion
Always heart to heart, let love heal us.

Copyright Ezzy 2020

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