Romantic love was scary and guarded I was, not at all looking, but it found me in a most unforeseen way. Clothed in desire, in a check outline. Simple words exchanged between strangers, a laugh shared. My notions of fear lost, unable to think of anything else apart from this stranger in the check outline.
Meeting him was one of those intense moments, I assumed, are not meant to last. They say you should not give up your sacred feminine so freely, lest you are considered ruined. But there was no thinking about it, no questioning, not a thought why not, it was the most natural thing. All the teachings about how a woman should hold out, gone with the wind. Ruin me, was my hearts song.
For here, right in front of me, within my grasp was a most magnificent creature, with eyes so green, full of mischief and kindness. One who ignited my whole being, soul body-mind with an energy so powerful. As if the Stars, the moon, the sun, the wind, butterflies and all things magical had tangled up into something beautiful and deeply fulfilling.
It was clear he wasn’t looking for love, I didn’t know that I was. It was clear we were consumed with want. It was clear he was popular among the girls. He didn’t make a secret of it, I didn’t mind. I was in whatever it was for purely selfish reasons.
Months later, for days I carried a question unvoice. Willing silence to rid me of the need for an answer. The humiliation and hurt of love not returned unbearable. The prospects of a lifestyle change on his part, to accommodate my question were grim, I assumed. I commanded my heart to be sensible and still. How could it be when met with tender mischief?
He was insanely interesting in his truth and popularity. His love for life was contagious. They would drop their knickers for him without a thought. Him touching another intimately filled me with an emotion so suffocating, I wished it away. I seemed to be deceiving myself for still, the question lingered.
Do you love me?
While our bodies tangled, the seed took root, love bloomed. Strangers became lovers, best friends, a couple, married, parents. Answers were found to a question never asked. Exciting answers, for love was returned. I thought this a mere summer romance. It felt dangerously exciting, hardly expected to withstand time. What poetic justice to know that love comes in all sorts of manner!
8 years of love, trials, triumphs and a wonderful little girl who resembles sunshine makes me glad that I stepped into desire. Gave in to the manifestation of it, all decency given up. It was passionate, it was fireworks, it was exploring, it was liberating to banish depictions of what ladies should or should not be.
They say don’t give in to lust but seek love. I skinny-dipped right into lust, love followed. There is something primal in being attracted to someone based on their natural scent.
That’s a little snippet of our beginnings. Now dear reader, go ahead and listen to your natural instincts. Let them lead you and follow your own rules and the constitution as well. Love comes cloaked in all sorts of unexpected ways.
Happy love day to you.